Pain. No one enjoys it. We do our best to avoid it or stop it as quickly as possible. When we are already hurting, we certainly don't want to add to it. I get it!
Emotional pain can lead to real, physical pain, and physical pain can lead to disturbing mental anguish, and the unsettling cycle seems to indefinitely perpetuate.
I have spent so many years of my life avoiding situations which would be painful to address. At that point in time, I was more comfortable sweeping issues aside. Pressing on. What I didn't realize was how the unresolved pain was manifesting and impacting the rest of my life; family relationships, parenting, social interactions and my work.
I spent decades addressing one health issue after another, never realizing the connection to my unresolved emotional pain. In hindsight, I can see how marital conflicts and parenting challenges have been linked to the negative and dis-empowering self talk looping through my head. So much of my life has been spent in an anxious state of conflict, arguing with myself, blaming myself and then falling into despair. Only to cycle through and find myself fighting to get back up and shake off the pain, the anger, the frustration.
#metoo I want to encourage you and help you see you are not alone. I also want to assure you, our past does not have to keep us hostage. We can learn to let go, little by little, layer by layer. We can move beyond and enjoy a fulfilling life with inner peace. Life is a journey. As with any journey, there may be unexpected detours, road blocks, and even break downs. It takes time and a determined effort, but we can get around the unexpected. Sometimes we need to go through the traffic and maybe we help someone along the way. Other times we are the ones broke down and we need a lift. But it's all part of the process of #healingforward.
One of my biggest struggles has been thinking I always needed to have my 'shit' figured out. That for some ridiculous reason, I shouldn't show weakness or vulnerability. I'm sure it was because I didn't want to be taken advantage of. It could have something to do with the perfection I was supposed to exhibit as a child. Remember, I was already hurting. I did NOT want to allow anyone to hurt me more...
But you know what I have discovered? What I was avoiding, always seemed to find me.
You know what else? while trying to protect myself and wanting to protect my children from the heinous assaults I experienced, I was an over-protective parent. That wasn't good, and now I can see the social impact of my trauma's unresolved pain, on my children's lives... I have wondered how much of my anxiety and
depression have directly impacted my children... how much of my closed minded views are keeping my children hostage?
I have valued my personal health and taken great strides to not just address symptoms, but to try and get to the cause of the symptoms. Remember, I don't like pain, and I do my best to eliminate it as quickly as possible. Yet, I was unprepared for the mental and emotional anguish I found myself in 3 years ago. Hitting rock bottom, I was too weak and confused to manage the detour on my own. It was time for me to get a 'lift' and seek professional therapy.
I share this to say, no matter what method we have used to manage life's pain and anguish, until we are willing to Go Through the pain, Go Through the process of hurting and overcoming the hurt, we tend to carry the symptoms with us. Are you willing to go through the discomfort to get to the other side? Are you ready for Inner Peace?
When you are ready to take back control of your thoughts and your life, you will be ready to let go of the pain and resentment which have held you hostage. You will seek tools and processes for releasing the trauma from your mind and body. A healthy community of support and encouragement will go a long way in helping you #healforward in spite of the fact you are already hurting. You may feel lonely, but you do not have to go it alone.
We can choose to maintain our symptoms with 'sick care', or we can go through the process and journey of 'health care'. To me, sick care is making excuses for our symptoms and choosing to stay in turmoil. It's easier than change.
And 'health care' is choosing to replace negative thoughts. It is choosing to release resentment, blame, anger and inner turmoil. It is choosing to surround ourselves with people and messages which affirm us, encourage us and provide tools for healing our minds and bodies from the inside out.
What does the other side of "I Am Already Hurting" look like? feel like? ... .mental liberation, inner peace, reduced stress, less physical pain, more mental clarity, more emotional stability and resilience, better sleep, more joy and laughter, less judgment and more love and grace for myself and toward others.
I am discovering who I am outside of my painful experiences. Most importantly, on the other side of I Am Already Hurting... I am hurting less often and with less intensity. I have days of inner peace with moments, pockets, of hurting versus years of hurting.
The past is just that, the past, history. I can't change it and it has negatively impacted my life in the past. But now, in this moment, which is really all any of us have, I am pain free. I can change this moment and the moments to come by how I choose to embrace the moment I am in. Every time I do this, I am taking back control of my life and improving my future. I am improving my physical health as well as my mental and emotional health. My story continues...
When you are ready to let go of the past and journey to the other side of I Am Already Hurting, contact us here at I Am Priceless. We'd like to link arms and journey with you.