Voices of Victory Blog
When It Doesn’t Make Sense
Everything Happens for a Reason…
I know I have said this. I have mimed this expression, which others have said to me, and around me. Just as so many other thoughts have been inherited and embraced without question. Among the varied life lessons 2015 brought me, it is to be more comfortable questioning that which I have long embraced as truth. This expression, is just one of them.
Everything Happens for a Reason… or Does It?
Although well meaning when spoken, this phrase brings comfort to the one speaking vs. to the person receiving the words. When an individual is in a crisis, and circumstances simply do not make sense, it’s a natural inclination to bandage the issue. Uncomfortable issues such as sexual assault, domestic violence, child abuse, and suicide get the biggest bandages. We wipe it off, by patting the hurting person’s shoulder; dab a little Everything Happens for a Reason ointment on and then cover it up so we don’t have to see it.
In reality, dabbing empty words on a festering wound and bandaging it up, will only lead to infection. Eventually, the bandage must be removed and the infection drained.
2015, 40+ years after my wounds were dabbed and covered, the bandage was unexpectedly ripped off. So many years of festering… Decades of rebandaging with a new dab of Everything Happens for a Reason… I was unaware of how deep the infection ran. No longer able to dab and rebandage, I started digging at the source of infection. It got messy. To say it was painful would be a great understatement. I became frustrated and irritable. Tears were ever present. I lashed out.
I sank into despair and depression. “How could this be happening to me? I already dealt with this issue.” I simply did not want to try anymore. I was so tired of the pain. Reasoning and rational thought took great effort. I wore my emotions on my sleeve. However, this is an exhausting place to be. (The mind of a victim.)
I’m not sure what shifted, but one day I recognized the state I was in and knew I needed someone else to guide me, to help me heal forward. I didn’t want to spend my days depressed and regressing from society. Deep in my soul a passionate fire to enlighten, equip and empower women was still burning. I made the choice to seek out a counselor. I gave myself permission to begin healing without reservation and without apology.
This is a process, a journey. Some days are still difficult. Most days I embrace strength and actively choose that which brings me peace. I am quicker to recognize debilitating thoughts and replace them with affirming, thriving beliefs. For me, it is no longer accetable to use the truths, “someone violated me.” ” I was abused.” “This is just the way I am.” as excuses. Daily, I am empowered to choose what I want to embrace. Therefore, I choose environments which help me heal and grow stronger.
2016 is fresh and new. I intend to keep my thoughts, my beliefs uppermost. No More! No More Silence! No More Excuses! No More Everything Happens for a Reason! No More Domestic Violence! No More Sexual Assault!
To once and for all take control and give voice to the countless other adults who were Children of Domestic Violence, CDV. To be loud and repetitive. To be the squeeky wheel. Because, sweeping Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault under the rug doesn’t mean they aren’t still happening. Because, wiping them off, dabbing Everything Happens for a Reason ointment on it and bandaging up the wound, DOES NOT help it heal.
Wounds need nurturing, attention and fresh air to heal.
So while 2015 has been a year filled with anguish, shifting and learning. It has also afforded me the opportunity to make choices. Choices that will leave a ripple of hope and healing for other survivors. Choices to find more gratitude, to color and find other ways to embrace creativity. Choices to journal and to share beauty more often. To Sparkle.
Together, we make a difference and learn to thrive. #BeSureToSparkle #ExcusesBegone! #IAmPriceless #SpeakBeautiful #YouAreMoreThanAble
Children of Domestic Violence Although a couple of my details are misquoted in the following article, the overall truths are here: Survivor Story (shared from Regina's blog)
Sheryl, You Are Priceless
I was just reaching out to a few people regarding the upcoming I Am Priceless: Voices of Victory Over Violence book when I came across this interview with #SherylUnderwood #SherylIsPriceless by #People writer, @EmilyStrohm.
We all have a story. Sometimes, it includes tragedy, violence and unimaginable things. While we may not always be able to control what happens, we don’t have to let it define us or determine our future. Your story is something no one can take away from you and you can decide how it ends. You can write your own ending. You can inspire and share courage. You can give voice to those still finding their voice. Maybe laughter and helping others laugh is your gift. Oh, how we all need more laughter!
While your story is unique to you, it is precious and priceless. When you choose to overcome the tragedies and violence, you grow stronger. When you choose to speak out and #ShareYourMessage you declare #NoMoreSilence.
Maybe it is time for you to enlighten and equip others on this journey we call life. Maybe you are ready to enrich other’s lives and empower them to overcome the violence in their own lives. If so, we would love for you to join our community of authors and this unique book. Together, we are creating societal change. Simple details here: I Am Priceless (shared from Regina's blog)
I Am Fearless and Priceless
I am fearless and priceless.I trust myself.I turn inward to connect to my heart.I am fearless and priceless.I focus my vibrant energy.I am full of life.I am full of love.I am fearless and priceless.I align with my truth.It is okay to make mistakes. Every choice I make helps me become more of who I am.I…Read More
7 Things to Keep in Mind When Leaving a Domestic Violence Situation
The following blog entry is provided by Naeem Law Firm, PLLC 1. Make sure to take your important documents with you i.e., passport, birth certificates, medical records, family pictures, etc. 2. Stay off social media and turn off all location services. You do not want the abuser following you. 3. Don’t post bad stuff about the person…Read More
Guest Blogger: Raquel Masco I was prepared to blog about Suicide as this month, September, is Suicide Awareness and Prevention Month. Then I received word that a pastor who was also a dedicated mental health advocate, completed Suicide this week. My heart is heavy. I am struggling to find the words for this blog. Perhaps…Read More
Yoga for Healing
Yoga for Healing??? What is Yoga for Healing? It is a safe place to restore mind, body and emotions. Regina shares information, yoga, meditation and breath work to soothe the nervous system and bring our bodies into a state of rejuvenation. We end each session with Divine Sleep Yoga Nidra so you can release stored…Read More
No More Chronic Back Pain!!!
My life changing experiences with Divine Sleep Yoga Nidra… Hello Friend! So many years, I have lived with chronic back pain. In my efforts to eliminate it I focused on every physical symptom which could cause back pain. I addressed digestive and elimination challenges with dietary adjustments, misaligned hips with chiropractic adjustments and massages, stiffness…Read More
Wait, What Nervous System?!
We all have feelings, a heart, and emotions as well as intelligence, a head and logic. Respecting both is part of being balanced and healthy. A lifetime of denying my feelings and constantly living in a Red Alert stage of my Sympathetic Nervous System, SNS, drove me to disturbed sleep, digestive issues, for some people…Read More
It seems to me, I have faced one health challenge after another throughout my adult years. Over and again, I find myself researching, seeking answers, because the standard medical industry offered a prescription to bandage over the issue, or had no real way to resolve the issue. One of my more recent journey’s has been…Read More
2018 Reading List
Regina’s 2018 Reading List Dare to Lead – Brene’ Brown How to Stop Feeling Like Shit – Andrea Owen Through the Rabbit Hole – Maya Lazarus Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness – David A Treleaven Girl Wash Your Face – Rachel Hollis Judgment Detox – Gabrielle Bernstein Mindset: The New Psychology – Carol Dweck Big Magic:…Read More
There is Hope… At some point in life, 1 in 4 people, worldwide, will be affected by mental or neurological disorders. This link offers brief descriptions of Common Mental Disorders. Nearly 2/3 with a known disorder never seek help. Shame, stigma, mis-information keep people suffering in silence. You can learn more at World Health. Yoga is…Read More